And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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