whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm jealous of your bromance
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
