I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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