so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
