I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
