I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
