My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
