It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
