I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
