If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
