Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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