I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it was like eating out sand paper
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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