He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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