my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
