dude i'm inner monologue high
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
