not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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