I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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