So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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