Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
