I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
