careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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