I'm so fucking centered right now
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
