are you still at the devil's house?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't deserve a penis
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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