He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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