white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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