okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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