A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
