Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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