Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm really busy with my period
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