i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
