i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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