We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize