i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bring money and cleavage
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
