Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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