Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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