it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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