I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
