Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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