We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
