her vagine was all disorganized.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
