Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
