the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.