Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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  (828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (758)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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  (843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed. http://tfl.nu/tmoe
  Replies (16) Good night (472) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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  (818): We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings. http://tfl.nu/9pm8
  Replies (26) Good night (5654) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.

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  (314): last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga. http://tfl.nu/5ric
  Replies (16) Good night (3936) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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  (614): True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit. http://tfl.nu/ajyk
  Replies (18) Good night (4011) Bad night (660)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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  (412): I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together. http://tfl.nu/59bc
  Replies (14) Good night (802) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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  (617): the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos http://tfl.nu/3hab
  Replies (11) Good night (3606) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up

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  (619): he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up http://tfl.nu/8iri
  Replies (5) Good night (2000) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.

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  (631): Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car. http://tfl.nu/iiqv
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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  (905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (421)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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  (765): so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick http://tfl.nu/orgy
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1612) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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  (806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0
  Replies (4) Good night (353) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.

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  (304): I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over. http://tfl.nu/9s58
  Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.

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  (770): There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese. (404): My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe. http://tfl.nu/muox
  Replies (15) Good night (2681) Bad night (285)

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