D3 body, D1 cock
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
