He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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