No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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