I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize