I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
