More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
