K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
