i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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