I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
where are my eyebrows?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
