I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
