And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
