wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize