best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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