I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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