My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
