He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
