yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
