i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
