I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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